Help - I've started to nag my miner about marriage

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Sarah Long arrived in Australia from the UK in early 2010 and met her Mr Miner soon after. They're based in Sydney and he does drive-in, drive-out (DIDO) to Orange in country NSW. Sarah came out to Oz as part of a six-month backpacking trip around the world, and never went home!

This month’s column comes to you direct from an airport lounge in Kuala Lumpur. I'm headed to the UK for my best friend’s wedding, so inevitably I'm thinking about marriage and commitment.

As I rapidly approach 30, more and more of my friends are married, or at least engaged. Many have children (or are pregnant) and I’m starting to feel the pressure.

Before I came to Australia, when I was a mere 24 years old, my boss in the UK used to complain that she was never going to find a man and settle down. Quite frankly, the sentiment terrified me. I swore that I would not turn into this sad, Bridget Jones-esque character.  I refused to be one of those women who went on incessantly to their boyfriend about marriage and babies.

And yet, here I am. I now find myself doing it all the time, cooing at babies on the TV and dropping not-so-subtle hints about engagement rings. (By 'subtle' I mean showing Mr Miner my Pinterest board, sensitively titled "Pretty Things", which exclusively contains images of antique opal engagement rings.)

I know I sound crazy, but I hate myself for doing it. What’s more, I’m not even sure it’s marriage and babies that I really want. But it’s an overwhelming and uncontrollable force that makes me continuously hint (OK, nag) in this way. It’s like chocolate after dinner – you don’t even want it, but you feel compelled to have it because it’s there.

It was our third anniversary that did it. Like deciding to grow out your hair, we've gone too far to turn back now - but we're still not sure if we're ready for the next phase.

Being in a DIDO relationship doesn’t help either. Yes, we’ve been together for three and a half years on paper. But in actual days together, it's probably more like one and a half years.

And there never seems to be any time to properly discuss our relationship. I don’t know if it's FIFO/DIDO related (or it's just us) but when you only get a short amount of time together, it’s easy to go through the motions without talking in any deep and meaningful way.

I suppose when it comes down to it, it’s another case of trust: trust in the fact we're happy together, trust that we're on the same page ... and trust that if I nag hard enough, eventually he will buckle, preferably to one knee!

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