Lost that loving feeling? Go back to where it all began

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Hi! I'm Sarah Long. I arrived in Australia from the UK in early 2010 and met my Mr Miner soon after. We're based in Sydney and he does drive-in, drive-out (or DIDO) to Orange in country NSW. I came out here as part of a six-month backpacking trip around the world, and never went home!


This month will mark our three-year anniversary - three whole years since I met Mr Miner and three whole years of a DIDO relationship.

I have to admit, what started out as a backpacker’s one-night stand hasn’t turned out too badly! I also have to admit that we’ve got pretty good at the DIDO thing, so much so in fact that I’m not sure how we’d cope with spending all our time together. In the beginning it was all we wanted, as with most relationships, to be with each other every minute of every day. He would drive to Sydney and surprise me and I would visit him in Orange. We were happy to drive for five hours to see each other for such a short time because it was so exciting and we would speak (not just text but actually speak!) on the phone at every available opportunity.

Now, three years on, things aren’t quite the same. Actually, we haven’t spoken to each other once in the past five days, despite us both having phone reception and Skype. So, yes, we’ve got good at DIDO. But have we lost a bit of that excitement and spark? Perhaps it’s time to go back to where it all began for some inspiration on how to get out of this rut…

Communication

This is the first thing that I always bring up when I talk about FIFO/DIDO relationships, but I really do think it’s key. At this point though, I’m not really talking about the deep and meaningfuls, I mean the fun kind of communication. The little love note left behind, the email waiting for me when I get to work, the impulse texts, all of which might only contain a simple sentence, but are exciting and fun to receive.

Surprises

Maybe driving five hours to see each other for one night isn’t practical anymore, but we could still try to surprise each other a little more. Anything, from a special dinner after work, or flowers for no reason; to little things like buying a favourite chocolate bar, or downloading a favourite movie are great surprises that show you care. I personally like nothing more than coming home on a Friday night to see my favourite bottle of wine opened and waiting for me – preferably in Mr Miner’s hand!

Quality time together

At the start of our relationship we did stuff together - and I don’t mean going to Woolies or hanging out the washing. While it’s nice that we’re comfortable together just sitting on the sofa watching movies, it’s also too easy and routine. Going to the cinema, out for dinner or for a bike ride would allow us time to talk and to share something we enjoy.

Make an effort

The night before Mr Miner comes home I still just about manage to shave my legs and paint my nails, but when we were first together I definitely put in maximum effort all the time. Yes the first night home is always exciting, but why should it all be about the first night? The best thing about making the effort is the surprise when you first see each other. So why not put on a sexy outfit and make an effort on a random night of his break for a real surprise? Oh - and there’s no harm in blokes making an effort either!

Plan some fun

When we were first together I was a backpacker, and although I had graduated from sharing a room to having my very own attic room with a mattress on the floor, it wasn’t the most comfortable arrangement. So on one trip to Sydney Mr Miner booked a hotel room for the whole weekend, even though it was just around the corner from my house at the time. So who says we can’t still sneak off to the city for a night away? Or better still book a mini-break and spend a whole weekend hiding out and getting close again.

At the start of a relationship the unknown can be scary and stressful and you just want to be at the comfortable stage, but when you get there it’s worth looking back and seeing how exciting and surprising those scary and stressful times once were.


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