Put some va into your relationships's va va voom
Last month I wrote about the need to be organised when running a FIFO household. This month I'm applying the same logic to FIFO love. Of course, all relationships can be tricky from time to time, but FIFO/DIDO relationships definitely require a little extra effort. But hey - keeps things interesting doesn't it?
Here are my top 10 tips to keep the va in the va va voom.
- Take care of yourself, both physically but mentally. Find 10 minutes to sit and have a coffee. Read that book. Do your toe nails. Colour your hair. Do something that makes you feel good. Easier said than done? The TV is not only an educational tool - occasionally it's great for simply distracting the kids so you can get a moment of sanity to breathe and find that place. Or play my trick: a game of hide and seek. Two birds with one stone. Playing with the kids while hiding in the laundry painting my toe nails!
- It should also be noted that being physically well increases your confidence, and that's reflective in your relationship. If you know you look good, it shows, and that's more sexy than any short skirt or low-cut blouse.
- Have hobbies and interests of your own. It's investing in yourself, and will give you something to talk about with to your partner, other than the children. It will be a reminder of who you were before you became a partner and parent.
- Reminisce about your first dates, first months together. Remember what made you fall in love. Remember how that made you feel.
- Boast about each other, in earshot of your partner ... accidently on purpose like! (I love going to a BBQ and telling friends that after 13 years my husband still rocks my world, especially if he can hear me.) Do it with a smile and make sure they know it's for them. It's bound to make them feel great.
- Touch him more. He in turn will touch you, and that's win, win. Even when you're discussing little things like who's going to pick up the kids. Touch his arm, rub his shoulder.
- Go on 'dates' together whenever you can. Get dressed up for each other - and for yourself. Take it in turns to organise nights out.
- Buy each other little things every now and then for no reason. I'm not talking about flowers and diamonds (all the time!) I'm talking about their favourite chocolate bar when you fuel up the car, or downloading their favourite song. It tells them you're thinking of them.
- Talk and laugh with each other. Every day.
- Kiss each other for 10 seconds every day. It's one of my favourite parts of the day and I don't care where it happens. Often my kids will catch us in the kitchen, and for a while they screamed "Oh gross mum!" But as I said to them, the moment I stop kissing their father is the day they have to worry. Now they turn a blind eye and run.
It's not rocket science. It won't cost any money. But I guarantee it will help to keep your relationship fresh and alive.
More columns from Oil & Gas Mum, Deb Russo:
- Organisation: the key to sanity in FIFO households
- How to ease the pain of being apart for special events
- Four weeks apart from your loved ones? It's just part of the job on an oil rig!
- An oil & gas mum's advice on raising your own little superheroes
- Introducing my fantastic FIFO family