Mining Family Matters - Support for mining families throughout Australia

Since Mining Family Matters launched in February 2010, we’ve had an incredible response from families around Australia and overseas.And what an amazing resource you’ve helped us to create. More than 120,000 visitors have scrolled through our 500 articles in the past two years: offering support to others on the forum, suggesting story ideas, sending in mining town testimonials and asking our experts for advice. With an increasing readership and the great support of our major sponsors (Caltex and the Government of South Australia through the Department for Manufacturing Innovation, Trade, Resources and Energy) we can continue to provide our services free to families and show that they’re not alone when life gets tough. We just want to say thanks for helping to make MiningFM what it is today. Please keep writing in, sharing your thoughts and telling your stories. But most importantly – if there is any info you need from us, just ask! That’s what we’re here for. Alicia & Lainie

ALICIA RANFORD AND LAINIE ANDERSON

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Subject :In need of help we are moving frm perth to brissy and hubby is a fifo .. 2012-05-19 01:58:22

mum2one

Joined: 2012-05-18 14:49:29
Posts: 1
Location:

Forum : Start your own discussion
Topic : In need of help we are moving frm perth to brissy and hubby is a fifo worker

Subject :In need of help we are moving frm perth to brissy and hubby is a fifo worker

Hi I'm Fiona hubby has been doing fifo for 25 months now I'm new to the site I need some help please:blue: , we are looking at moving frm Perth to Brissy in the next 6 months, hubby works a 2 and 1 roster here in Perth. He wants to fifo frm Brissy, is it expensive and how will he cope having to fly 7 hours just to get to work???? I want to move as all my family live over there but i feel guilty him having to fly that far.

Does everyone feel like this or is it just me???

Subject :partner Getting work on same mine.. 2012-05-02 03:15:10

shiel

Joined: 2012-05-01 16:52:10
Posts: 1
Location:

Forum : Start your own discussion
Topic : partner Getting work on same mine

Hi everyone,

my partner has been offered a job in the mining industry in MacKay. We are looking to move in 2013 but I would really like to sort a job with him before I leave. He was recruited at an expo fair in uk. Originally we were going to Perth, and the manager said it wouldn't be a problem getting me a driving job and training me up, but because of a tick box on the visa he wasn't 'qualified' to do the job in WA that the guy wanted him to do.

Anyhow I'm getting side tracked! I would like to be working on the mine with him doing whatever I can. We are still in the early stages he has a date for the medical, but I want to be pro active but don't know where to begin, what companies to contact etc.

If anyone has any knowledge of job/training opportunties for partners of miners e.g. truck drivers, peggies etc

Thanks for any help! (Not that I'm looking to be a teacher but that is my qualifications just incase)

Catherine

Subject :Re:Infidelity.. 2012-05-01 19:10:35

margy

Joined: 2012-02-27 08:33:36
Posts: 4
Location:

Forum : Start your own discussion
Topic : Infidelity

I totally understand what your saying .There are days when the hatred is so strong I just want to get in the car and disappear leaving him to deal with the children and everything in our life just as I have to when he goes to work but the thought that soon he will be gone keeps me here and then the thought that he will be going back over west fills me with panic of what will happen. Make a list of rules sounds good but he's already broken the rules so how would I know ..trust right now is just not here . Making plans for my own life and future whether he's around or not and letting him know that's what I intend on doing with or without him and also staying calm ..even if it means coming back to it a day or so later helps me get me point across. Glad counselling is helping you. Hubby's seen one on is own and said it made him see that he loves me and wants us to work out ..but guess only time will tell
sorry for rambling but feels good to write it out
Hugs and love sent stay strong and hope it works out

Subject :Re:Anyone in brissie area?.. 2012-04-29 18:29:49

MY3BOYS

Joined: 2012-01-27 10:47:01
Posts: 11
Location:

Forum : Start your own discussion
Topic : Anyone in brissie area?

Hi i was exactly like that when my hubby started doing
fifo 18mths ago.
I am actually from Northern NSW so not a large city, which is hard when people question your marriage but in all honesty it seems to be getting more popular flying from east coast to west for work.
I would also like to find woman in my area so we could organise a function for fifo families.
Sometimes you feel like your the only people doing it but then you just remember why you have decided to live the fifo lifestyle.

Subject :Re:Anyone in brissie area?.. 2012-04-27 09:52:00

MiningFM

Joined: 2011-02-10 00:39:59
Posts: 70
Location:

Forum : Start your own discussion
Topic : Anyone in brissie area?

Hi there! Welcome to the site. It is really important that you know you are not the only one who finds the FIFO lifestyle hard sometimes. It is one of the reasons we wanted to start the site. Well done for contacting FIFO families. They should have a group in Brisbane which will help you connect with others in the same situation.

Make sure you subscribe for our monthly e-newsletter so you will always be informed of what our experts are covering over the coming month.

Thanks again for coming onboard. Take care. Alicia x

Subject :Re:life on site.. 2012-04-26 23:08:51

WaiseaMissus

Joined: 2012-04-26 11:17:27
Posts: 3
Location:

Forum : Ask the FIFO Bachelor
Topic : life on site

I'm also interested in these questions Vicky posted:
What site are you on?
Do you see alot of alcohol abuse?
Do you see alot of people being unfaithful?
What is the ratio men vs women on your site?
Married vs single?
Rough age group of people on site?

I'm curious to have a fly-on-the-wall perspective from a bloke who works in the mines.

To us ladies back home, it is all a great mystery. My man always says it's all blokes, they never fly in strippers for entertainment, and although I trust him completely of course a part of me is curious to hear other perspectives.

I'm also curious as to what the mine sites are doing, if anything, to make it a more family-friendly industry.

Subject :My man always thinks i'm cheating on him.. 2012-04-26 22:24:07

WaiseaMissus

Joined: 2012-04-26 11:17:27
Posts: 3
Location:

Forum : Start your own discussion
Topic : My man always thinks i'm cheating on him

Hi there, I'm new here and I was wondering if anyone else has this problem. My partner was in the mines for many years, and then left the industry which is when he met me. When he worked in the mines before, he had serious problems with girlfriends cheating on him.

One time he was with a woman for 3 years before a neighbour informed him that his girlfriend was sleeping with 5 different men. He has had a string of failed relationships with women who were physically and/or emotionally unfaithful to him.

Now he's with me and he's constantly accusing me of wanting to sleep with other people, when I have no such desire whatsoever. He gets the switch in his head and it's like he has a different personality, and he's convinced that I'm sleeping with the 70 year old landlord or checking out other men (or wanting them to check me out).

It was manageable before he went back to the mines but since he started FIFO a couple months ago again, the problem has gotten so bad our relationship is in serious trouble.

He admits there is a huge problem and says he can't control it. He called the MensLine and has arranged to see a counsellor when he comes back in 2 weeks. He knows it could destroy us and at least I see he's committed to fixing it.

So I'm just wondering if anyone out here in FIFO-land has had similar issues? It seems like this kind of thing must happen quite a lot with this lifestyle?

Subject :Anyone in brissie area?.. 2012-04-26 22:12:47

WaiseaMissus

Joined: 2012-04-26 11:17:27
Posts: 3
Location:

Forum : Start your own discussion
Topic : Anyone in brissie area?

Hi, I'm a newbie to FIFO. We live in Brisbane and my partner FIFO's to WA 14/7. I was feeling like the only one in the world until I found this site, I'm so glad to have discovered it! I just emailed a contact at FIFO Families to see if there is a local group as well. So far this is looking like a great group of people.

Subject :Re:wanting information /books for young children.. 2012-04-22 20:54:41

MY3BOYS

Joined: 2012-01-27 10:47:01
Posts: 11
Location:

Forum : Start your own discussion
Topic : wanting information /books for young children

HI KIRSTY,
MY 4 YEAR OLD LIKES THE COUNT DOWN AT THE END OF THE SWING.BUT ABSOLUTELY HATES WHEN WE GO TO THE AIRPORT.
HE THEN IS GENERALLY A BIT NAUGHTY FOR THE 1ST WEEK AND THEN COMES GOOD.
MY HUSBAND HAS SHOWN HIM PHOTOS OF WHAT HE DOES BUT I NEED TO FIND SOMETHING THAT ACTUALLY PUTS IT IN "CHILD WORDS".
SO HE UNDERSTANDS THAT ITS JUST NOT HIS DADDY THAT GOES AWAY AND THEN COMES BACK 2 WEEKS LATER.
KIDS HAVE NO CONCEPT OF TIME AT THAT AGE AND BEING ONLY 4 HE JUST DOESNT GET WHY HIS DAD IS AWAY FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME AND HIS FRIENDS DADS ARENT.
THANKS FOR YOUR ADVICE.

Subject :Re:wanting information /books for young children.. 2012-04-22 17:00:44

MiningFM

Joined: 2011-02-10 00:39:59
Posts: 70
Location:

Forum : Start your own discussion
Topic : wanting information /books for young children

My3boys if you would like to email me your postal address to alicia@miningfm.com.au I will pop one in the post for you! Alicia x

Subject :Re:TELL THEM THE TRUTH BE HELPFULL.. 2012-04-21 23:56:53

kirstyt

Joined: 2011-06-03 11:46:20
Posts: 19
Location:

Forum : Start your own discussion
Topic : TELL THEM THE TRUTH BE HELPFULL

Rob91, I think your comments are very harsh. This is a brilliant site to help support the families. Yes I am unhappy woman sometimes but not all the time. Its taken time but we have got used to the lifestyle & always know if it gets too hard we can walk away as you can. Please dont knock the lovely ladies that run this site and others, there to help & support all the families in FIFO/DIDO.
You maybe going through a hard time right now & I'm sorry hope things look up for you soon but this lifestyle is a choice if its too much look for an option that works for you, instead of taking it out on these hard working women that run this awesome site.

Subject :Re:wanting information /books for young children.. 2012-04-21 23:40:25

kirstyt

Joined: 2011-06-03 11:46:20
Posts: 19
Location:

Forum : Start your own discussion
Topic : wanting information /books for young children

Hi, Just a suggestion why doesnt your hubby do his own book. take photos or video of where he works, sleep plays etc & that way your kids will truly understand what he does "at the airport" for 2 weeks. I'm thinking of getting my hubby to do it for our 2 year old.
Our son only see me drop/pick hubby from airport but he seems to understand (not sure how) that dad goes in a plane to work. Sometimes instead of pointing to a plane & saying plane he says Daddy especially when I have started the big sleep countdown to him coming home. pretty cute
Hope this helps.

Subject :Re:wanting information /books for young children.. 2012-04-21 08:33:24

MY3BOYS

Joined: 2012-01-27 10:47:01
Posts: 11
Location:

Forum : Start your own discussion
Topic : wanting information /books for young children

hi no i dont have a copy of that book .It would be great if you could send me one.'
Thanks heaps

Subject :Re:wanting information /books for young children.. 2012-04-21 07:37:58

MiningFM

Joined: 2011-02-10 00:39:59
Posts: 70
Location:

Forum : Start your own discussion
Topic : wanting information /books for young children

Hi There,

Do you have a copy of our Survival Guide for Mining Families? If you have not please contact me via the "contact us" page and I will happily pop a copy in the post for you.
Here is the link for an article from our psychologist which will help also. http://www.miningfm.com.au/ask-our-experts/psychologist/144.html
Take care. Alicia x

Subject :Re:wanting information /books for young children.. 2012-04-20 23:49:35

mehjjchan

Joined: 2010-07-16 14:33:41
Posts: 15
Location:

Forum : Start your own discussion
Topic : wanting information /books for young children

I have heard of some books. If you are on FB ask on FIFO Families, someone there will be able to tell you where/how to find them.

Subject :wanting information /books for young children.. 2012-04-19 10:33:48

MY3BOYS

Joined: 2012-01-27 10:47:01
Posts: 11
Location:

Forum : Start your own discussion
Topic : wanting information /books for young children

Hi everyone,
Just wondering if anyone knows about any books or things to help young children understand what DADDY actually does??
My older children understand that Dad flies to work and works in a mine but my 4 year old just thinks he goes to the airport and the i pick him up 2 weeks later.
Hubby has shown him mine sites through youtube but i would actually like something that helps him to understand what he does and why we have chosen this lifestyle.
Thankyou in advance.

Subject :Re:JUST NOT THE SAME ANYMORE.. 2012-04-18 22:18:40

MiningFM

Joined: 2011-02-10 00:39:59
Posts: 70
Location:

Forum : Start your own discussion
Topic : JUST NOT THE SAME ANYMORE

Hi Guys, I am also sorry to hear that the FIFO lifestyle is causing problems for you both. Have either of you read a copy of our Survival Guide for Mining Families? I think you would find the informationr really useful. It deals with the exact issues you are talking about. If you would like to email me via our "contact us" page (the tab is on the top right hand corner above) I will post you a complimentary copy.

Take care. Alicia xx

Subject :Re:JUST NOT THE SAME ANYMORE.. 2012-04-18 20:46:59

Nelly

Joined: 2012-04-02 11:15:27
Posts: 1
Location:

Forum : Start your own discussion
Topic : JUST NOT THE SAME ANYMORE

Hi there,

Firstly, sorry your having a hard time. I can't really give any advise as I am having the exact same problems at the mo, when I read your post it sounded like your words were written by myself. I've been living FIFO partner life for bout 6 months now and everything you said is exactly the same for us, we fight most times whilst he is on break and also whilst he's at work cause I'm always waiting for a time that's ok with him to speak on the phone after he finishes his shift he's always busy, dinner, drinks with the boys, safety meetings etc blah blah blah, yes so i always feel like the last important one on the rank. This FIFO lifestyle has really had a huge bad impact on us or maybe our relationship just wasn't strong enough in the first place, which has almost lead me to end our relationship, this has all what has lead us to have to go and start some psychology councelling which Im hoping will help us bring our relationship back together again or either help me realize this lifestyle is not for me. I'm obviously hoping for the first outcome however I won't stay in something that makes me continually unhappy..just so you know the mining companies pay for psychology appointments for both you and your partner so u can have your own one on one sessions as well as couples sessions. nobody at his work will actually knows if you book appointments as it's all done through a separate entity..if u need the number just post me back and I'll pass it on to you.....my only advise I could possibly give you guys is try get some councelling, even if your partner doesn't wish to go you can go on your own to get some help with strategies on how to cope with this kind of different and at times roller coaster lifestyle....take care and I truely wish you smiles and happiness

Subject :Re:Infidelity.. 2012-04-16 19:25:40

cathome

Joined: 2012-03-04 09:04:34
Posts: 4
Location:

Forum : Start your own discussion
Topic : Infidelity

Hi Margy
You are dead on the money, it's very hard to throw away so long for one mistake, 20 years is a lotta life and a lotta love. I swing from determination to make it work to feeling absolute hatred. I am sure you know what I mean. We have been going to marriage counselling which helps but I can tell you if ever I find a way to get ourselves out of a FIFO life I will be running for that door!! Don't let him push you away, make him work for you and write a list of "rules" he has to follow if he want's to keep you (ie a five year plan together, dinner dates etc...) Good luck darling and hugs & kisses back at you!!

Subject :JUST NOT THE SAME ANYMORE.. 2012-04-15 18:45:12

FIFOGF242

Joined: 2012-04-15 08:26:56
Posts: 1
Location:

Forum : Start your own discussion
Topic : JUST NOT THE SAME ANYMORE

Hi guys,

I came across your website a while back when my partner first started in FIFO. His first shift was just before Christmas last year and went well into the New Year, so that started things off pretty damn tough. We have been together for almost 4 years, living together for 3.5 years, and have always been very close, very affectionate and happy.

Since he has started FIFO, I find I am struggling to stay happy and not fight with him - both when he's away at work, and also when he gets home. I was hoping that I would get used to the whole thing, and while there have been a couple of swings where things have been awesome with no fighting or arguments, its been bad more than it has been good.

I'm lucky in that he works 2 on 2 off, and I get to speak to him everyday (normally) but i find that I am just frustrated and seem to fight with him alot. I'm not sure if its just me, or if he's also being negative as well because I'm so negative and stressed, but I end up getting off the phone so annoyed with myself for fighting with him where he says that he's "done something wrong again". And when he gets home, there are things about the way he behaves that seem to annoy me, which never used to cause any reaction at all, and my moods swing more as well...meanwhile he sits at home all day playing games on his phone and going to the gym..

I really am trying to keep busy and not let anything get me down (i train regularly as I'm a PT and coach, I am studying by correspondence and I catch up with friends too) but when I'm home, on my own, thats when it sets in, and i 'wait' for him to call...he stays busy at work, obviously by working 12hr shifts, but also goes to the gym himself and hangs out with his buddies at work, and because i can only speak to him when he calls, its like my whole world and time revolves around him and depends solely on when he can fit me in...which I hate because I never used to be like this...

What can I do about this?? I need to stop this otherwise it's going to ruin our relationship and send me slightly nuts!! Please help!!

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