By Nicole Ashby

One of my FIFO Families members rang me a couple of weeks ago, right on "Ashby peak hour".  It was 5.30pm, I had a good friend and her two sons visiting, my two-year-old daughter was on my hip and I was cooking dinner!

Jess (that's not her real name) was in a rather desperate state when she rang. She needed to talk to someone right there and then. There was no choice of talking later, which was fine, so my friend looked after all the kids so I could listen to Jess.

Jess is in her mid 20s with two little kids under three. Her husband works on a 2/1 roster and they have a rather sizeable mortgage around the $450,000 mark. She was was concerned about her husband Jack, who was expressing feelings of discontent and unhappiness at work and longing to be with his family on a daily basis. Jack wanted to come home.

Jess was confused and worried - she wanted her husband to be happy and loved the idea of having him home. But what would they do about the mortgage if Jack decided to exit FIFO? How could they afford the repayments? It could really leave them in a serious financial predicament. 

A pretty stressful, anxious situation all round, really.

The first thing I told Jess was that FIFO is a choice. Yes it comes with its challenges, but it is a choice, as with most things in life. There will always be another option, though you might not see it initially. When one door closes, another door opens. 

Neither Jack nor Jess was in a very happy place and both needed to some down time to sort through their issues and values and really nut out what was important to them. Jess was unaware that compassionate leave was something that was available to them, so I suggested that Jack talk to his supervisor and apply for some compassionate leave. 

The second suggestion was to ask about the company’s EAP (Employee Assistance Program) and seek some couples counselling to help get some clarity and direction around any issues needing attention. Jess also didn't realise that her family had free access to an EAP through Jack’s employer. This information was of great relief, comfort and reassurance to Jess and she felt that she did not have to blindly grapple with confronting and sorting through these issues on her own.

Jack did apply for compassionate leave and the family was able to get away for a short break and spend time together, to work out what was important for them as individuals and as a family.

Many people I talk to through FIFO Families are unaware of EAP programs or compassionate leave. Some people feel that they will be seen as weak or insecure if they seek out these services via their site supervisor. But in the majority of cases, the companies are more than happy to put you in touch with the EAP because they want to retain their workers. The attrition rate (number of people leaving their job) is around 33 per cent for the FIFO sector.  That means that for every 10 people a company employs, three are going to leave. This is an expensive exercise for the companies and they want to hang on to as many workers as they can; especially in this highly competitive marketplace where there is a growing skills shortage.

Remember that FIFO does bring its own unique set of lifestyle challenges and there will be times when this way of life will be tough.  But it is a choice and there will always be other options.  FIFO is not the be-all or end-all, but usually a means to an end.  If you need some clarity about what this means for you and your family, then please take responsibility and seek assistance. 

• Learn how your other half lives and boost your relationship
• Are you being heard?
• Be proactive when FIFO life is really getting you down
• When alcohol stops being fun and starts to hurt your family
• The other way to educate your children - mining mum Sue Sheehy explains why home schooling worked for her family
• Homework the best policy when choosing a school for your child
• Forget 'do-gooder' comments and be your own boss with discipline
• 2011 - make it the year you got organised
• Tis the season to be jolly - or is it?
• Double the fun ... expecting multiple babies
• Recognising the cycle of domestic violence
• Keeping your family safe in the world of social networking
• Diabetes - now affecting 900,000 Aussies
• Overcoming the trauma of losing a child
• Q&A: mining job opportunities for social workers
• Feeling frazzled? Here's where to find help
• Antenatal advice for isolated beginners
• Positive parenting equals happy little bunnies
• Keeping relationships alive and thriving
• When a social drink becomes a personal problem
• Where to find help when you're caring for an elderly relative
• More about Nicole and her role with Mining Family Matters

To talk with a trained volunteer telephone counsellor at any time of the day or night, call Lifeline on 13 11 14. To contact the info line at beyondblue: national depression initiative, phone 1300 22 4636.